My pain belongs to me....

The pain is quite something, not near enough to pleasure but stimulating none the less. Strange the sting the sensations of deriding the flesh almost unbearable yet a conquest of how much can I bear? Pleasure is more than tolerable yet not always advocated, pain is an awareness of something unkind yet at times warranted for the sake of enabling a conscious awareness of dysfunctionality. At other times pain unwarranted boasts implications of an adverse offensive, a hostility to the flesh from a source not my own.


My pain I can put aside and even to flight but to conquer its effect relies on strength, mind and will. Symptoms masked reoccur randomly therefore the root causes need to be extracted discriminatively without supposition.

Pain is sharp, dull, tight, burning, pounding, agonising, stinging, throbbing, blunt, uncooperative, relentless, rawness and at times cruel ache. To wrestle with it causes more sensation to be still with it subdues it for a time. Momentary affliction is preferred, a swift measure of defeating pain is better than a drawn loathsome inexplicable suffering. I have dealt with the blows of excruciation but nothing like the formidable rejection from the ones you love or death and absence of these you love. A chasm of aching turmoil to the heart and the sickening knot in the pit of your stomach. Anguish and despair attack the fragile heart, riddled with disease of brokenness right to the soul. Recovery is long and hard, some never recover and the heart dies within a crushed chamber.

Pain is a sensation, a sensibility and a raw emotion, whilst pleasure is the very same....both the human condition!