My Living Testimony - Part 1

Drugged and Delusional

It was nothing for me to be awake hours on end at a time and be in some sort of trance, dead on the outside almost frozen yet alive and screaming on the inside. My mind was racing with thoughts and ideas, constantly craving more of the backyard drug laced with what seemed like battery acid and cut with something so strong it smelled like a talcum powder. The strong smell wafted through the pores of your skin, my jaws ached from an uncontrollable clenching of my teeth. The hours flew by from darkness to daylight within what seemed minutes. I would have a supply of dope to smoke throughout the night and vodka was my drink of choice. The back of my throat was almost burnt out through all the alcohol consumed over the years and the pulling of cones one after another. Cigarettes, no food and no sleep was how I would start the cycle all over again once daylight hit. Chasing the dragon was more than an addiction it was a power play for me to see how long it would take me to score again without even paying for it by cutting someone else's deal and then how fast I could hit up.Life went on for years this way, I was a cocktail junkie for over 9 years and any drug would do. I could consume the worst of it and the best of it in large quantities and it always amazed those around me. I liked to be the best at what I did and how I did it back then. I guess what surprised me the most was the determination to the hunt, to track down the source, hunt out the drug, nothing would ever stop me. I remember one occasion where it took me the whole day up until almost midnight, well over 14 hours to score, then the jackpot! The intake was climactic.....veins pumped then the pop of my skin as the blunt needle pierced my flesh and entered the almost collapsed vein.There were things that I have not talked about a whole lot before of what happened in those days leading up to the end of my addiction. Some would say that I was delusional but you might say that that's the spiritual realm which is revealed to those whom God chooses to reveal it to or who the Devil seeks to destroy!Late one night early in the year of 1988, I gave up my room for someone staying over and I laid out on the lounge room floor and went off to sleep in the early hours of the morning. It was pitch black and I couldn't see my hand in front of me it was so black. I must have fallen asleep instantly for the next thing I woke so suddenly and so abruptly, still on my side wide awake, more awake than I can ever remember being but frozen solid with fear. Only eyes were able to move. Have you ever felt fear before? I was absolutely paralyzed and gripped with the most frightening feeling that I had ever experienced. It was pure evil and right at my side, I could almost feel its breath on my cheek as it stared right at me. I couldn't move it was right there, I was so terrified to turn and look at what was there in the pitch black. It's evil presence consumed me from top to bottom and I knew that I had to do something. What seemed like minutes must have only been seconds in reality. Determination built up within my being and with every bit of courage and strength that I could muster I had to face this demon staring into my face, its cheek seemed to be touching mine coming at me from behind so as I couldn't see it. Then one, two, three I threw myself over, my whole body turned with such force and I stared back at this thing, this presence of evil........It was gone! I never saw it, it just disappeared into thin air. I was released from the grip of fear which had paralyzed me. This demonic presence vanished cowardly as I turned to face it. I thought to myself I never ever want to experience that again. I have never felt that type of fear and evil presence to this day again but I have certainly experienced lesser and even chased it out of my house or my son's room and even off our bed at night.The Devil comes to rob, kill and to destroy but Jesus came to destroy the works of the Devil! amen.The very next day at work without any prompting or conversation from me on the matter, the guys and myself were sitting around having some cones, smoking joints and having a drink when to my amazement they started to talk about this fear. I thought what! are you serious. They said: you know if you call upon the name of Jesus the fear and evil presence leaves instantly. Well, I couldn't believe what I was hearing, this was the first of many coincidences which I now call God incidences I experienced as a pre-believer and now believer.

Rinaldo