Depression is not just a word but a hard reality.....it's not a weakness but a demoralisation!

I was diagnosed with clinical depression going on three years ago now and have survived this debilitating cancer of the mind. Ongoing with more diamond days than stone I still suffer with spasmodic seclusion's and despondent episodes. I now frequent happy places and venture outside myself and into other worlds and cope with the burlesque society we dwell in. Journaling and writing has helped me overcome the adage once bitten twice shy, and again I have re-entered the world of the living. At times I am overrun with thoughts of the past, triggers which enforce previous contemplations, but no longer driven by circumstantial disharmony's. I have lived with this philosophy for many years that "a problem is a matter proposed for solution" I have found and chosen the solution rather than being defeated by the cause. Often if we cannot fix the problem then the resolve is to eradicate the cause.....self! My solution is God's grace and mercy who at will brings comfort to the needy and resolve to the lame.

Here is an excerpt from a daily journal I write, an infrequent gloomy day of a fragile mind.
The Mirror.
I see a shadow of a man that used to reflect strength, humor and a double portion of joy. Muscular physic, tanned, smooth skinned and a full head of hair. Now an obese blemished face with partial hair and failing sight. His teeth now yellowing and his eyes slightly discoloured. Not the pupil nor iris but something further beneath them. As though this man has traveled far through terrain which has beaten him. Worn and flailing.
His disposition no longer ready to collide head on with anything that sets his path, but rather a man who would now simply turn back or take the long way round if only he could muster the strength. The light is still there, not as bright and only a small spark still existent. His stare is reminiscent, alert for now but no longer sharp and always searching, sadly though, only the negative resides through blindness where once existed a philosophy the glass was always half full. The insurgence of a life askew, misshaped and unmanaged, forever now war fatigued and scarred from endless battle, has all but depleted this mans image. No longer resembling his youth or virility and never being able to commit to a glance of his reflection nor ever examining his meager appearance, he turns in resignation of his allotted disposition and skulks away into another despondent episode of daily life...... only to reappear once again before his disturbing mirror image the very next day, and so goes on this cycle of laborious lament, day after day after day....

Today is a great day, rain from the heavens blessing the fertile ground producing, LIFE!

Rinaldo